Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Family that just keeps taking

Do you have family that relies on you for everything? They have no initiative to try and solve problems on their own. Their first reaction to any obstacle is to pick up the phone and call you? I do. And she’s living in the same city now.

Her requests over the years included: my parents helping her out with university; me doing her grad school applications; my parents helping her out with grad school; wanting to come and live with my parents because she finished school and didn’t find a job; When my parents refused, asking us to look for rentals for her because she’s coming no matter what.

She arrived a month ago and the requests get more frequent varying from big to tiny. Asking me to pick her up at the airport. Asking me to find her a job. Asking my dad to find her a job. Asking my mum to find her a job. Asking Sis to find her a job. None of us being in the same field she’s in and have no idea what her skills are or what she’s looking for because she didn’t tell us.

Asking me to do her resume. Asking me to do her cover letters. Asking to take my mum’s pots and pans. Asking if she could have my duvet. Calling at 8am in the morning to let her into our home because she’s told her friend to pick her up there (what are we? A bus station?). Asking my dad to help her fill out a part time job application. Yep she wasn’t sure what to fill out under position/rate. How about all positions and market rate? Then when she got a part time job, asking me if I have black shoes and a white shirt because she needs them for work.

Basically, every night I get home after a long day, mum or dad is talking about something she wants from me or Mum or Dad or another phone call from her parents worried about their little girl in the big city and why haven’t WE found her a job yet.

I feel like letting her in on a little secret. Try calling once in awhile without asking for something. Also, when people see you trying hard they’d be glad to help. If I don’t see you making an effort to help yourself, why should I? For example, don’t give me a resume with typos all over, and a page long cover letter that looks like you’ve never seen one before, and expect me to make both brilliant overnight. It’s hard to believe, I know, but the world doesn’t revolve around you.


Anonymous said...

That is insane! I always marvel when I meet people like this. How are they able to go through life acting so helpless then feeling victimized. Good luck, and good for you and your parents for sticking to your guns.

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

F*CK that drives me mad. I don't have a sibling who pushes like that, but reading that irritated me anyway. I know people like that.

And my parents did the guilt trip on me for not finding my sibling a job because we were in the same industry - IT.. UH HELLO? It's HUGE!

Anyway, the more they baby her, the less challenges and the less grown up she'll become - and it'll go on for-ever.

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

And I am linking to this.

Dolly Iris said...

I have a sister who complicates my life as well. I can empathize with your situation. :(

Anonymous said...

I think you are being selfish. Helping out a family member should not be a chore. Sure she might be asking a lot from you but maybe because she does not have anyone else to turn to.

Be the better person, think about someone else, and help her out.