Frustrated

When I was young, about 4, my parents took my older sister and moved away to make more money and build a better life for us. Being so young, I was left to be raised by my aunt, who was very young at the time, and my grandparents. I love her and her husband like they are my parents. It’s a big long story. Let’s just say, my aunt gave up a lot for my mother and our family picking up the slack in raising me and caring for my aging grandparents. I had always expected that one day I will help them out financially.

My aunt has decided to go back to school. Something that I support fully and am willing to help in any way I can.

Yesterday, my mom asked me how long I've been working. Strange question because she knows exactly how long I've been working. Then she said I must have saved up a lot of money while working. Again, totally weird question because she sees how hard I work and save.

I told her to get to the point. Apparently my aunt has asked to borrow some money for all the expenses while she goes back to school. Mum wants me to lend it to her and not tell anyone, especially dad.

I was super annoyed. Not at lending my aunt money, but at all of mom's little games. I already know about the lying and manipulating that goes on between mum and dad when it comes to money and their families. I gave up trying to change that. What I hate is that both of them constantly put me in the middle and use me to hide things each other.

Anyway, I figured it's more important to help my aunt, so I let the whole hiding it from dad thing go.

I asked how much. She wouldn't say. Then she said expenses are about $2K a month. My aunt is going back to school for 8 months, which is $16K all together. I said how about $18K so she has a little room. Mom said:"What? Come on, you can spare $20K". I think she already had a number in mind and just wanted to manipulate me into it. When is she going to learn that I see through all her little games? I'm not doing this because she succeed in manipulating me. I'm doing this because I love my aunt.

Also, it hurts me how easily she gives away my money. I didn't even get a chance to offer it. Think of all the things I have to do to save that $20K. I guess she doesn't think it's a big deal because dad has always been generous with me and she would probably convince him to give me that money when I need it (for down payment or a car). But $20K I saved up is no strings attached money. $20K from Mom and Dad comes with strings, which she will be perfectly happy to pull.

I know it sounds bad, but every time I go through this it brings me down for a week. Here are my parents, who have been adults for many decades, why can't they just be honest and talk about things like normal people?

Oh, when I told her I will write a cheque for her to send to my aunt, she hm'd and ha'd and said to wait. It's typical behavior. She probably another little plan, which she won't tell me. It hurts my head to think what it might be. I'll just make sure the money's ready.