Friday, October 17, 2008

Dear Anonymous

An Anonymous commenter called me selfish after my last rant on Family that keeps taking. I felt it was quite unfair and wrote a long post in response. However, after I wrote it I no longer felt the need to post it. It should be expected, when I post excerpts and not a whole novel on this particular relationship, readers may not to get the whole picture. That's ok. Because I don't want to write a whole novel on something negative anyway. So here is my short reply.

Nowhere in my post did I say I will not help her. I've always tried to help her regardless of how big or small the requests are because I understand how hard it is to be where she is right now (just out of school, low on funds, and looking for a job). I even offer advice and help on areas I think she might need support without her asking for it.

My complaint is that she doesn't seem to be making any effort herself. My frustration is she expects it as her due. She does not appreciate the fact that we are all taking time out of our busy lives to help her. She's been rude to my mother, ignores everyone else in the family until she wants something, and bad mouth us to all our relatives. So if venting my frustration on my blog makes me selfish, I can live with that.

BTW, I'm not talking about Sis here.


Anonymous said...

I don't think you are being selfish. I have a family member who does the EXACT same thing. Eventually I just feel I'm being used. I started off by being really sympathetic and being really nice....but in the end, she just wants me to do everything for her and she refuses to do any of the heavy lifting herself. It's hard when it's family. I keep my mouth shut but inside I'm really irritated and frustrated.

Esme said...

thanks anonymous. I know exactly how you feel.